Dear Friend…
I Am Sorry That I Suck...
I pride myself in the fact that I have wonderful taste when it comes to friendship. No jokes, I have amazing friends. I am very selective and picky with whom I choose to share my energy with, sometimes it comes off as being a snub but well🤷🏼♀️.
I’ve had this sick feeling for a few days and I find my self wondering how good of a friend I am. Am I as good a friend to my friends as they are to me?
While battling with the question and answers going on in my head, I decided to put my thoughts into writing. I know first hand how hard it is to keep up with relationships these days especially for someone who suck at keeping in touch as badly as I do.
I believe very few people understand that friendship has very little to do with proximity or frequency of communication and more about silent bonds and unshakeable reliability in crucial moments. However, i feel as though for some "little is more" and the littlest bit of effort counts.
So here we go,
I don’t want you to think that just because it’s been a few months/years since I’ve seen you or even spoken to you that I don’t care about you, because that’s not true at all. I value your friendship. I value the memories we’ve shared in the past and I hope to create more in the future.
But the problem is that I’m busy as hell (Aren’t we all). I have a million things to do. I have so much stress in my life.
I know that people say “if you care about someone, you’ll make time for them” but that’s close to impossible when I have a job that takes up the majority of my time and school that takes up every free time you get. I’m lucky if I can arrange to see one of my friends during a free weekend, let alone every single friend that I miss.
I’m sorry that I suck at keeping in touch. I’m sorry that I don’t text you nearly as much as I should. I’m sorry that I’m not as updated on your life as I used to be. I’m sorry that, sometimes, the only way we communicate is by liking each other’s posts and pictures. I’m sorry that, sometimes, the only way I know what you’ve been doing is by looking at your social media.
I’m sorry that it’s been so long since we’ve had a heart-to-heart talk. I’m sorry that I suck at showing how much I care about our friendship. I’m sorry that I don’t tell you how much I love you nearly enough.
But, in my mind, it doesn’t matter how much time we spend apart. I still consider you one of my best friends. I still love you with every part of my heart.
I want you to know that, even though we spend large gaps of time away from each other, I’ll always be there for you when you need me. If you call me at midnight with a problem, I’ll answer. If you text me asking for my help, I’ll be there.. If you ask me to come over to help you through a breakup or the loss of a job or whatever, I’ll rearrange my schedule to see you. I’ll drop everything.
If you need me, all you have to do is ask. And I know if I ever need you, you’ll do the same.
So please don’t think that I’ve abandoned you for newer friends. Don’t think that I have forgotten all about you. Don’t think that I’m purposely excluding you from my life.
You’re not the only one it’s been a while since I’ve seen. I haven’t seen most people in weeks, months, even years. I rarely get a chance to go out and relax.
I wish I could be a better friend. I wish I could drop by your house or office more often. I wish I had more spare time to text back and forth with you about the little things or even call you so we could gist on how our days went. But it’s so hard for me to find the time.
I just hope you realize how much I care about you. I hope you realize that it doesn’t matter how long we spend apart, because you will always be my friend. Always.
I pride myself in the fact that I have wonderful taste when it comes to friendship. No jokes, I have amazing friends. I am very selective and picky with whom I choose to share my energy with, sometimes it comes off as being a snub but well🤷🏼♀️.
I’ve had this sick feeling for a few days and I find my self wondering how good of a friend I am. Am I as good a friend to my friends as they are to me?
While battling with the question and answers going on in my head, I decided to put my thoughts into writing. I know first hand how hard it is to keep up with relationships these days especially for someone who suck at keeping in touch as badly as I do.
I believe very few people understand that friendship has very little to do with proximity or frequency of communication and more about silent bonds and unshakeable reliability in crucial moments. However, i feel as though for some "little is more" and the littlest bit of effort counts.
So here we go,
Dear Friend,
I don’t want you to think that just because it’s been a few months/years since I’ve seen you or even spoken to you that I don’t care about you, because that’s not true at all. I value your friendship. I value the memories we’ve shared in the past and I hope to create more in the future.
But the problem is that I’m busy as hell (Aren’t we all). I have a million things to do. I have so much stress in my life.
I know that people say “if you care about someone, you’ll make time for them” but that’s close to impossible when I have a job that takes up the majority of my time and school that takes up every free time you get. I’m lucky if I can arrange to see one of my friends during a free weekend, let alone every single friend that I miss.
I’m sorry that I suck at keeping in touch. I’m sorry that I don’t text you nearly as much as I should. I’m sorry that I’m not as updated on your life as I used to be. I’m sorry that, sometimes, the only way we communicate is by liking each other’s posts and pictures. I’m sorry that, sometimes, the only way I know what you’ve been doing is by looking at your social media.
I’m sorry that it’s been so long since we’ve had a heart-to-heart talk. I’m sorry that I suck at showing how much I care about our friendship. I’m sorry that I don’t tell you how much I love you nearly enough.
But, in my mind, it doesn’t matter how much time we spend apart. I still consider you one of my best friends. I still love you with every part of my heart.
I want you to know that, even though we spend large gaps of time away from each other, I’ll always be there for you when you need me. If you call me at midnight with a problem, I’ll answer. If you text me asking for my help, I’ll be there.. If you ask me to come over to help you through a breakup or the loss of a job or whatever, I’ll rearrange my schedule to see you. I’ll drop everything.
If you need me, all you have to do is ask. And I know if I ever need you, you’ll do the same.
So please don’t think that I’ve abandoned you for newer friends. Don’t think that I have forgotten all about you. Don’t think that I’m purposely excluding you from my life.
You’re not the only one it’s been a while since I’ve seen. I haven’t seen most people in weeks, months, even years. I rarely get a chance to go out and relax.
I wish I could be a better friend. I wish I could drop by your house or office more often. I wish I had more spare time to text back and forth with you about the little things or even call you so we could gist on how our days went. But it’s so hard for me to find the time.
I just hope you realize how much I care about you. I hope you realize that it doesn’t matter how long we spend apart, because you will always be my friend. Always.
Jay 💜
This is beautiful.
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